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Showing posts from May, 2019

Grit & Grace

I’m gritting my way through grief and discouragement these days. It’s been going on for 6 years now. I’m weary from it. I probably need some help but that’s another discussion. In my 30 years as a caregiver, I have been the woman who could never fully exhale because I knew that around the next bend, Glen would experience another season of depression or mania. The loss would come again and I would have to be there to show support even when my insides were screaming, “God, please...No more!” 

Yet not because God doesn’t care, more loss came. Again and again I watched my husband bend yet never snap under pressure as his brain could not withstand the expectations certain people and jobs placed upon him. As he crumbled, I tried to be strong. It’s difficult to watch someone’s brain malfunction. To stand back and observe the jumbled jargon, rambling thoughts, over reactions, inflated emotions, and the list goes on and on. Have you ever tried to reason with someone whose mind tells them that…