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Only the Strong Survive

I think the February Funk season may finally be over for me.  Fingers crossed.  If you follow me on Instagram, then you'll know I feel like I am finally honing on my why I should have a presence on IG in the first place.  As I have worked through this funky season, I realized that my studio being shoved into a dark room was not helping me thrive.  Here is my studio as it looks today.  It's right inside the front door where the light floods the space and I can breathe and work here. But this isn't why I wrote this post.  Read on!

For all you sensitive souls, this post is for you...(and me)! Do you find yourself sometimes drowning in your overload of emotions? I know I do. In these seasons of life, do you find it hard to navigate and trust your heart? Self doubt is a big struggle for me.

There are many times when I can have an influx of emotions and in the middle of this I can find it challenging to hone in on why I have an overload of these feelings in the first place. I lose trust in myself and I begin to beat myself up for being this way.

In case you don’t know this, sensitive souls suck in the flow of energy around them. I mean this purely in the sense of definition of thin skinned people. I often feel like an octopus with tentacles that suck in the emotions going on around me. I can become overloaded with too many emotions finding it hard to defeat the gloomies or defrag my heart from the heaviness of it all.

Recently, as I poured out my heart to my hubby, he gently reminded me that my sensitive heart is my gift. He praised me for being me and he gently told me not to take myself off the easel. God does his greatest work in me when I am sensitive. He also uses it to teach me more about myself and others.

But I can only use this gift for others when they hear me.  Being heard is what my heart needs and wants. Being sensitive isn’t just a gift to be used for myself. It’s for you! I am empathetic and sympathetic. I get why you cry when you are happy, sad, mad or over the moon! Ha! Can you relate to this? I mean seriously, it can be a pain to have an overload of emotions, yet this influx can help me feel deeply! It’s kind of the way my heart let’s me know that something needs my attention.

I believe my emotional content is a blessing. Some days I don’t view it that way but after the storm passes, I see what it brings to me and to those who love me. It’s my gift! Sensitive emotional people are often misunderstood or misrepresented. I’m actually surprised at how often this can happen to me. People still view tears as a sign of weakness but in actuality, it’s not weakness at all. Strong people feel strongly. And when my world momentarily crumbles, I fall to pieces. I wilt, I cry, I get angry...sometimes all at once. Ugh!!!  These moments when it all floods in on me is when it’s hardest to know what to listen to first. I usually tend to spend several consecutive days feeling deeply emotional. Then the clouds will part when I finally work through what is troubling me. I know this, burying your emotional content won’t work. Don’t go there! Just don’t! In the end, grief will find you and she can be a “b”...if you know what I mean.

I don’t like trouble. Who does? But the important thing to know is that this expression of emotions doesn’t mean I am weak. It means I feel strongly! I care deeply and that I need others to hear me and my heart. It’s how I am heard...through the gateway of my emotions.

The strong survive! If we wilt completely and choose to let our troubles bury us, only then are we weak. Expressing your pain or frustration isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign you care. Strong people have the ability to take the obstacles and view them as stepping stones to greatness. However long it takes is really irrelevant. It’s that we choose to move forward that makes us strong.  It’s also that we choose to do it over and over again that makes us thrive!

I’ve said for years that I have an iron clad constitution.  If not, I’d be long gone. I would not have stayed married to Glen and I would not have survived all our challenges. But I was and I am strong. Sure I cry a lot. Often! More than I wish and I’ve had lots of people misunderstand my emotions. So many people have not been able to handle my pain with the care and compassion needed. I’ve had people take my emotions as a sign that I will crumble and they’ve chosen to use my tears as a tool of reprimand. Why are you so emotional? Suck it up! Just get over it! And so on.

I’m here to tell you that you cannot ask someone to move forward at your own personal growth pace. People heal differently. People respond to pain differently. Some of us take more time than others and that is ok! What’s important is that we get there. How long we take is none of your business. (said with all the kindness I can muster)!!

Also, what others think of me and why I am as I am is none of my business! Whew! I am over feeling bad cause you don’t get me. I am over groveling for you friendship. I’m over bending low to pick you up but you don’t give a crap about picking me up! Yes?! It’s time to say if you love me, you’ll suffer with me. If you care about what’s happened to me, you will give me space to scream and cry and rant till I get over the shock of it all!

I will get there! You will get there too, if you’re truly strong. Strong people have deep emotions! My deep emotions have been my greatest test but my greatest gift. It’s taken me 54 years to say this about myself. Some days I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. I hate brokenness and heartache in myself and others...the world! It makes me hurt and I cry when I hurt.

But as the tears fall, my heart collapses and I fall into Jesus! He knows me. He feels me. He made me. He carries me. He is everything to me. He will see me through. Strong people fall on their knees and let God do the impossible!!!

Listen, you’re broken too! Just because I cry doesn’t mean I am more broken than you. 😉 We are all going through struggles. No one is immune. Some of us feel it deeply and we let it out loudly! There is a time to weep! And then there is a time to refrain, to dry our tears and put our makeup on and look beautiful! Smile through the tears. Walk tall and strong!

If you relate to having an overload of emotions, then I celebrate you! I’m right there with you. I get you! I’m here to cheer you on. The world needs us feeling souls. We make the world a softer, kinder and gentler place. We are the ones who make great caregivers, soulmates and friends. I am one and I’m proud to be me.


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